Online Social Anxiety??

Anime Girl Shy 3.gif

I don’t interact much with people online. Not in any social media for that matter. Even in anonymous forums, or pretty much anywhere online, I just don’t interact with online people much. I honestly think that it  has to do with my social anxiety and the fact that I think it’s pointless to say anything online. Contradictory of myself who freaking has a blog! Hear me out though.

This problem is more of an online thing than a real life problem. Firstly, I can’t seem to comment on other people’s blog. I feel like the things that I have to say has little value or people don’t really care about it. I’m scared of unintentionally offending people so most of the time, I resolve to not commenting at all and just ‘like’ their contents. This sometimes frustrates me because there are times when I think I have something to say but as soon as I wanted to type those words in the comment section, my brain became numb and I forgot everything that I wanted to say. Yea I hate that.

Anime Girl Shy 4

Secondly, sometimes when people comment on my blog, I tend to have panic attack and just don’t reply to it altogether. That doesn’t mean that I ignored them. It’s just, my freaking anxiety!!! Please forgive me. Though I think I’m still fortunate that I didn’t ignore people that much. It happens very rarely but it still happens so I’m very sorry.

The main reason why I don’t interact much with everyone is because I never had an online friend and I think it’s difficult to make one. I don’t get this online friendship because every single friendship I’ve made so far are with those without much physical gap between us. It’s relatively easy for me to make friends in school or college but once I graduate, I pretty much never keep in touch with them at all. Save for one or two. This is why I don’t get a friendship between people who has never even met. Because at the back of my mind, I will always feel like I never truly know the person I’m talking with.

Anime Girl Shy

You might probably say that I also won’t truly know those who are physically close to me. But at least the absence of physical gap fills the gap… Well that sentence is weird. But you get what I mean. Online interactions, to me, is basically continuously thinking “do I need to comment on this new post of theirs?” “That’ll make me a nuisance to them.” Yes, that’s usually what I think. I know people most probably won’t think of it as a nuisance. Perhaps they’ll even be happy for having a very loyal and passionate reader. But even though I know that, I can’t think properly and just hit the like button before running away. It’s… weird and pathetic.

Now in real life, it’s also quite difficult for me to approach other people but once I’ve approached them, or they’ve approached me, it becomes super easy. I do tend to be quite shy but I don’t think it’s as problematic as in the online world. Which is weird because usually it’s the other way round. People who have social anxiety are usually unapproachable in real life but very outspoken when it comes to their online social life. I’m quite the opposite of that, being more approachable in real life but very unapproachable online.

Real Life Virtual Life
Definitely can’t relate

I’ve established that making many friends is not something I would pursue. I am an introvert so having many friends does not interest me. However, seeing other people make friends online very quickly makes me… jealous to a certain degree. Like, how do they do that? How can they be best friends forever in a matter of days or even hours??

I’m not trying to make really close online BFF. My goal is more of making myself being more confident when I’m supposed to or when I have a chance. For example, if I have something to say about a post, just comment without postponing it and then completely forgot about it. Or when others comment on my blog, I try to reply with the intention of expanding the discussion instead of trying to stop it. Things like that… baby steps. Being a silent reader to all the blogs I follow is already very fun for me. But sometimes I do wish that I was in the discussion instead of just being an observer. While those times a very few and far between, I’d like to experience those moments when I get the chance.

Anime Girl Shy 2
Anime girls blushing is the closest thing I can think of relating to social anxiety…

I guess that’s my solution to this problem. Partially at least. I suppose I have to force myself to interact with people here somehow and just talk like I would talk in real life, I guess. Well I can at least say that I won’t ignore anyone anymore hah!

So it’s the end of the post. This is the part where I’ll worry about people giving comments and worry about my answers to the comments even though the comments are not even received by me yet. Yep, that’s anxiety for yah!

Uhh… if you have something to say, say it and I won’t ignore you. I promise! Until then, see you next time ~ (probably in 12 Days of Anime)

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13 thoughts on “Online Social Anxiety??

  1. I remember when I first started blogging, for the purpose of finding people to talk to about anime, and I started reading other blogs, how scary it was to comment. Then I realised the worst that will happen is they’ll disagree or tell me I’m stupid and that happens in real life anyway. More likely the comment would be ignored. And so I started to comment on people’s blogs.
    Commenting is now one of my favourite parts of the blogging community. I love the small interactions. I’m not necessarily out to make friends, though I certainly have gained a few through ongoing interactions with other bloggers, but I have found so many people to discuss anime with, even if it is just a few comments on one post for a bit.
    It is definitely scary but I think it is worth doing. Then again, my purpose in blogging was to connect with other anime fans. Depending on your purpose for blogging it may not be something that is necessary.
    Best of luck with whatever you decide to do.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Your comment is very encouraging!

      The truth is, my real life social anxiety was basically as worse as online but I overcame (and am still overcoming) the anxiety with the sentiment of ‘what’s worse that could happen?’ Particularly when presenting anything, I would say to myself that the worst that could happen is they’ll ignore me or laugh at me… and that’s okay. With a lot of practice, it becomes bearable and it’s not something I’m scared of anymore. So when you say, the worst thing that could happen when commenting is people might just ignore or mildly insult me, it hits home, really. It makes me wonder why I didn’t use the same sentiment I used in real life when I’m online though… think I’ll use it whenever I decide to comment on other blogs from now on.

      The main purpose of blogging to me is to write first and foremost. Connecting with people didn’t actually occur to me when I first started blogging. Which is why I always disappear and reappear out of the blue. I didn’t feel the need to connect with my readers even through a blog post. To me back then, reading and liking other people’s contents already made me a part of the community. Which is true in some sense but as of now, I want to change. I want to be more involved in the community, even if it’s not that much. Most importantly, I realize that social skill is important and I severely lack that skill. Blogging and commenting is a perfect platform for me to improve on that. I’ll start doing the same thing on other platforms of social media too.

      Wow that turned into a personal ramble. In any case, that’s how I feel about this whole social anxiety thing. I hope you don’t mind me rambling to you haha.

      Liked by 1 person

      • That’s okay. I get it. I struggle with real world interactions and found it much easier to break through the barrier online.
        Best of luck. The ani-blogging community are really great and most people love getting comments so for the most part I think you’ll have fairly positive experiences.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I hear ya. I’m actually better online than in real life these days, but the comment thing really strikes a chord. There have been times that i’ve typed out comments or tweets, sat there and stared at them, then deleted them. Most of the time I look at it faterwards and kick myself, but hey ho.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I’ve been there so many times… Commenting is a very scary thing to do. There was a time when I was scared to tweet or even retweet anything! But I believe that I’m improving, ever so slowly. For one, I’m replying to you hah! 😆 But yes, I do comment on other people’s blogs every now and then, and I’m going to do it more often as time goes by. One of the solutions that I actually thought of is… watch seasonal anime. Cuz I don’t. More often than not, people post about currently airing anime so if I watch them, maybe it’ll be much easier for me to start a conversation using the anime material.

      Like

  3. I totally resonate with you, especially with the comment thing. Though I dont have the same level of anxiety as yours, its still affecting me… Especially when it comes to communicating with other people.
    Even now, the comment section terrifies me. XD (believe me.. I’m having a hard time gathering my thoughts in commenting to ur post, heh)
    It takes time… But we’ll eventually overcome this. Just baby steps. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I understand you. It happens to me all the time. I’m still new to this as it is…but I always feel like I have to comment in a certain way or I sometimes feel like I’m being rude if I don’t comment at all (whether it be on my actual blogs or social media). I was also really reluctant to comment on your post, to be honest…
    It really makes me feel better knowing that it’s not just me going through this.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m glad you commented despite being hesitant. To me personally, I’m already very happy if people like my posts. If they comment, that’s a bonus. But I get what you mean. Commenting is pretty tricky especially when the blog post is about their recent achievement. Like, I want to say congratulations but that’s the only thing that I have to say. If I just write ‘congratulations’, it’ll sound half-hearted. Should I comment anyway or should I just like it? Well, at least, that’s what usually in my mind. I always resolve to the latter option haha.

      I also feel better that someone feels similar to what I feel. I guess, we’re all in this together then? 😀

      Liked by 1 person

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